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Red foxes make for uncommonly rad neighbors. Plus: a fox poem.
Red foxes are rad. Red foxes have the best Latin-science name. Vulpes vulpes. How rad is that. Do you know how uncommonly rad you have to be to have the same first and last science name? Pretty stinkin’ rad. Red foxes are that rad.
Red foxes are so uncommonly rad because, though a member of the canidae family, they share many characteristics with felines. Rad-ness correlates to cat-ness, is what I’m saying. (Not to be confused with Katniss.) Search your feelings: you know it to be true. Here’s a partial list of the uncommonly rad things that red foxes and cats have in common:
Vertical slit pupils—super suitable for night vision and judging distances
Slyly sensitive whiskers for navigating in the dark
Active at night (see: previous two points)
Retractable claws for all-round rad-ness and also for climbing trees (I have seen a red fox run up a tree after a squirrel—it was so rad)
They stalk and pounce on their prey, solo—whereas wolves and other lame canines hunt in packs to chase down their prey
Did you know that red foxes (and other varieties of foxes, just to be clear) use the earth’s magnetic field to locate field mice and other prey hiding under snow or grass? It’s true. This is the most rad thing about red foxes, if you ask me. When foxes align their pounce to the northeast—true magnetic north—their kill rate is 73%. This is called “magnetoreception.” It’s like a rangefinder, but one that only a fox can use.
That is uncommonly rad. Also, that is very cat-like kill rate.1 That is an uncommonly rad kill rate. Have you ever seen your average, slobbering grey wolf or your average, slobbering golden whatever-oodle align their pounce to true magnetic north? Can your dog even pounce? What is your dog even doing with its life if it’s not aligning its pounce to true magnetic north like rad-es rad-es vulpes vulpes? True magnetic north for true fox.
Yeah, science. Yeah, Latin. Yeah, foxes.
If I were to ask any of the uncommonly rad graphic designers I’ve had the privilege of knowing and working with to design a family crest for our household, I’d ask for the incorporation of a fox somewhere in that crest. Maybe the shape of the crest itself is in the shape of a fox head. Like that overpriced outdoor gear brand from Scandinavia.
Why am I talking about foxes and fox-themed family crests? What are we doing here? Why is the title of this post so obviously but immaculately pun-y?
It’s because the foxes are back.
Poets’ corner
Note: I wrote this poem a handful of years ago about a different fox. One I used to see from a distance while on walking breaks at work. I figured now would be a good time to share it.
The Fox
I can see you walking down the path
with unhurried delight. All you want
is to watch me and smile.
Fear prefers distance, and before
you’ve rounded the bend by the willow
I’m already half way across the pasture
headed toward the taller grass
at an anxious trot, only stopping
once or twice to look back
to make sure you’re still there.
Thanks for reading, y’all.
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Freakin' Rad.