The need for more foster families in a post-COVID world
When home is not a safe place to be
In our church’s online service this past week, while our pastor was praying COVID-related prayers during the Prayers of the People, this prayer near the end caught my attention: “We pray especially, Lord, for children for whom staying at home day after day is not a safe place for them to be.”
I tweeted about this a few weeks ago. Human services departments across the country and adoption / foster agencies are increasingly concerned about the need for foster parents once things start to return to “normal.” From the New York Times:
As a result, the number of foster homes, already all too scarce in [Washington state] before the crisis hit, will remain static for the state’s over 10,000 foster care children until the pandemic subsides and business returns to normal, Rabun said. Of bigger concern to him, and other foster care professionals throughout the country, is the impact that “stay at home” orders may have on children not yet accounted for in the system.
“We know abuse and neglect happen more in high-stress situations,” Rabun said. But the people who would normally notice and report these sorts of problem, like teachers and doctors, will be unable to do so in the days and weeks ahead. “No one has eyes on them,” he said.
While you’ve been quarantined at home, trying to juggle work, home school and Netflix, thousands and thousands of kids across the country have been trapped at home with abusive and neglectful caregivers.
As Joel Bell, the southwest Michigan branch director for Bethany Christian Services in Kalamazoo said, "The solutions to stop the spread of COVID-19 such as isolation and social distancing can often make it more difficult for people to notice the signs of abusive neglect.”
All of the kids who have come into our home over the last four years have come from abusive and neglectful homes. (I've written about this in pieces here and there.) And most of their biological parents came from and grew up in abusive and neglectful homes.
There’s lots of talk in our national discourse about “re-opening” the economy and getting “back to business.” But when our stay-at-home orders are lifted and the doors of these homes are opened, there will be a dark reality to attend to. The elderly and immunocompromised aren’t the only vulnerable segments of our population right now. Most states currently don’t have enough certified foster families to meet the number of kids in need of a home. The “demand” in the coming months will only increase. If you want to help repair our nation as it comes out of this pandemic, then I’d ask that you prayerfully consider getting foster certified.
It will be hard, overwhelming, at least 15 percent terrifying, and unlike anything you’ve ever done before. But it will be worth it.
Call your local county office or search for local / state adoption agencies, and they’ll get you on the rick track.
If you’re at a place in life where fostering / fostering-to-adopting isn’t feasible, then consider giving to organizations that are doing good work in this area. Organizations like The Adoption Exchange and AdoptUSKids.
Or Ariel Clinical Services. Lindsey and I have our foster certification through Ariel, and they helped bring our girls home to us. We love our case manager, and they’ve been a steady, supportive presence over the last two years for us.
Or Finally Home, which is an organization near and dear to us. They’ve provided so much parenting help on our journey. We went to one of their foster / adoptive family sessions just a few weeks after James was placed with us, and it was a trajectory-changer. All the services they provide to foster / adoptive / kinship parents are free of charge. I really don’t know where we’d be without them.
You have been receiving these updates and walking this road with us for nearly two years now. Maybe now is the time to go from reading about fostering / adopting to doing it. To start your own journey. To let God make room in your heart and in your home for those in desperate need of both.
Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
my King and my God.Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
ever singing your praise! Selah
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;
the early rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
each one appears before God in Zion.(Psalm 84:3-7)