Update on yesterday's hearing
Quick note: providing an update on yesterday’s email below. The initial post and the update can be found on my blog site here.
First of all, I want to thank all of you who took the time to pray, text, call, email, and comment yesterday. Your support was tangible and courage-giving. Oswald Chambers wrote that prayer is not preparation for the greater work—it is the greater work. And y'all did work.
I attended yesterday's hearing. The boy will not be placed with us. The judge accepted the county's recommendation to give temporary custody to the mom's aunt. According to the senior case worker I spoke with, the boy has effectively "grown up" with his aunt and her family. He was placed with her yesterday evening, and the county hopes this brings some emotional stability for the little guy.
What does this mean for him and for us? It all depends on two things. First, it is still very much to be seen if the aunt and her family can provide the kind of care and stability needed in the long-run. Their situation has its own complications, and I was told by the case worker that even the aunt isn't sure how things will go. Nothing is permanent yet.
Secondly, it depends somewhat on what we want to do. I told the senior case worker that Lindsey and I were confused by the process. We were asked to consider being a long-term, permanent placement option for the boy the day of removal, and now it seems that only family is being considered for placement? And that's the weird little rub: we could also be considered family—kinship—because his siblings are our kids. I got the sense that the county isn't 100 percent sure how to "rank" these kinds of scenarios. They said they went with the aunt in order to abide by federal guidelines. Essentially, who is the next immediate family / kin, and does the Indian Child Welfare Act come into play in this case? (Short answer: yes. Longer answer: umm, eh, maybe... not?) But we are family. His siblings are family. What weight that carries, though, is still not clear.
All that to say: the situation remains fluid. Lindsey and I are essentially considering ourselves "on deck." And the county was thankful and impressed that I was at yesterday's hearing. Our presence mattered to them.
So the question is one of when. As the county sorts things out, and as the boy adjusts to full-time living with his aunt, all we can do is wait. Things could change. But it could be a week. It could be two weeks. It could be months. It could be a year. It could be never. Tom Petty said it best: the waiting is the hardest part. And if we think the waiting is hard on us, imagine how it must feel to a 2-year-old who has had his life upended.
The next hearing will be in a week or so. I plan to continue attending them when I can. Hearing the news from the source is always better than second-hand email.
Again, thank you for your prayers and support. It is no small thing. For now, I'd ask for you to direct the bulk of such prayers to the boy, his aunt, and to the decision-makers at the county and in the courts for clear-thinking about what's best long-term. And yet, it was a whirlwind of a week. To keep with the baseball metaphors, our fam has fielded a lot of emotions and task-switching this week. We're tired. If we're not careful, we might start pulling a Buckner or two. So prayers for wisdom and rest would also be appreciated.